Last season on The Bachelorette, one of the guys proposed and she said “No.” And as is tradition, if you don’t win the big prize, reality TV will let you play again. So Ben Flajnik returns to be the new The Bachelor.

This season, watch yet again as one person gets to pick from twenty-five people in order to maybe find love. Because, that’s totally like reality. I remember when I was on TV and had 25 women throw themselves at me and I picked my wife from their number... except, that’s not what happened at all. In fact, it only happens like it does on TV on TV.

I really can’t be trusted to give a fair review of the premier episode of the new season, given that I absolutely hate pretty much any of these reality game shows. Because that’s what it is, a game show. But rather than having a player solve puzzles for cash, it takes ten episodes full of dates to find out who wins, and the grand prize … one of the contestants! To date! Maybe marry! And appear along side in all the tabloids!

You too can be Reality-TV-famous, just like your favorite stars on E!

Anyway, just like every other season of this show, we meet a guy and then we meet a bunch of women, and we scream at the TV a lot. What? You don’t scream at the TV? You like this stuff? Well, then this is probably right up your alley.

And I do not have a rose for you.